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| 01:26am 17/03/2003 |
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my mom has 3 fish. two of them died the othernight from ick (its some fish disease). I know their just fish but it did upset me a little. I feel bad for the one that is still alive. It made think how horrible it must be to grow old and watch everyone you love die before you. How lonely it must be to be the only one left living. I dont want to get old. i want to die when im 50. I cant stand the idea of knowing that my mom is getting older and most likely will die before me. how am i going to get throught that when it happens? my mom is everything to me. im not scared of dying i am just terrified of everyone else dying.
i just found out this morning that my ex step-grandmother is dying. shes on life support and their deciding if they should pull the plug or not. Im not to upset about it because shes really not my grandmother and she is a bit of a whacko. I do feel bad for my brother and sister though. when she does die its going to be hard on them, but everyone has to go through it. Ive had to go through it quite a few times already.
My step grandfather took me to disney world for a christmas present when i was 7. The second day we were there he died. It was horrible but i got through it. Its hard but eventually you have too. |
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| 12:56pm 05/03/2003 |
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went to hartz tonight with megan and chris. megan and i got in for free. i got drunk, chris was already drunk. had to talk chris out of beating up some kid (fighting is so stupid). saw aaron and marc. havent seen or talked to marc in ages. he seemed rather chatty which isnt like marc. so that was quite diffrent but nice. had chris rubbing my ass all night. that wasnt so nice. but yea, that was pretty much my night. short but semi-sweet. |
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| I dont like this picture, not at all |
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| 08:51am 12/02/2003 |
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What more can I say?
BDSM Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla
Not much going on in my life. Moved back home with my mother. I really need to get out one of these nights. Maybe i will go to the wave this tuesday. Havent been there in quite awhile. Ah, im gonna go look at beautiful skinny boys wearing tight pants. Havent done that in awhile either. |
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| my apologies |
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| 03:30pm 15/01/2003 |
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mood:  cranky music: the pixies- where is my mind?
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lasnight i went to the wave. there were a couple of boys there that i treated pretty badly. I feel horrible about the whole thing, especially for the one boy. you know who you are and i want to say im sorry. I didnt mean to hurt your feelings. I feel lame apologizing this way but i cant seem to get a hold of you any other way. I hope you can forgive me.
i guess johnny is right once again. im a bitch to the nice boys and go after the jerks and losers. which was the case lastnight. once again im sorry. i dont know what else to say... so i guess thats it. |
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| 10:45am 31/12/2002 |
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mood:  chipper
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Spell your first name back wards]: enyehc
[The story behind your LJ user name]: hmm... i believe i had told jill a lj user name i was going to use and she misheard me and came out with brownbags. so for some odd reason i used it.
[Are you a lesbian?]: i thought i was when i went to cox highschool but realized i wasnt. Theres alot of girls i find very attractive but i need a man to satisfy my needs.
[How old?]: 22
[Where do you live?]: va beach
[4 words that sum you up]: capitalism stole my virginity, very unoriginal and it doesn't make much sense but they were the first four words that came to mind
DESCRIBE YOUR-
[Wallet]: dont feel the need to describe my wallet.
[Hairbrush]: same here. who the hell cares?
[Jewelry worn daily]: i wear this really ugly ring this girl gave me in highschool. i believe i was about 17 and havent taken it off since she gave it to me.
[Pillow cover]: dark blue
[Coffee cup]: cheshire cat coffee mug. its hott
[Sunglasses]: i hate sunglasses
[Underwear]: I bought some spiderman undies from the little boys section in sears. they were hott till i put them in the dryer and they shrunk. now their really tight around my thighs. I need to go buy some more and not put them in the dryer. other than that i just wear jills. hehe
[Shoes]: usually something with a heel or big and chunky. im quite short so anything that makes me appear to be taller is for me.
[Handbag]: i have alot
[Favorite top): my most comfortable is my turn pale tee-shirt
[Favorite pants]: jills jeans
[Cologne/Perfume]: yuk! perfume gives me such a headache
[CD in stereo right now]: uhm actually im listening to a playlist on the puter but its Prince and the song is kiss. he rocks my world
[Piercings]: use to have my lip and my tounge but no more
[What you are wearing now]: pajamas
[Hair]: black, short, bangs, messy
[Makeup]: uhm eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick, lipgloss
[In my mouth]: wouldn't you like to know?!
[In my head]: music
[Wishing]: that i get a job real quick and that i had someone to kiss tonight at 12 (first time in 4 years i wont have someone to kiss when the ball drops, grrrr)
[After this]: cleaning, yipee!
[Talking to]: myself
[Eating]: nothing
[Fetishes]: i dont even know where to start, they dont call me freaky deaky for no reason. *wink wink*
[Some of your favorite movies]: Harold and Maude, Breakfast at TIffanys, The Goonies, Legend, guess whos coming for dinner. i like old movies a bunch especially black and white
[Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]: not much, how sad my life is.
[The last thing you ate?]: French toast bagel
[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: crabs, im serious.
[Do you like candles]: uhm i guess
[Do you like incense]: not really
[Do you like the taste of blood]: errrrrrrrrrr
[Do you believe in love]: of course
[Do you believe in soul mates]: Maybe.. it would be nice, wouldn't it?
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: no
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: yes
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: a black kitty cat named spook
[What are 3 states you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: Maine, New york, Washington
[What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]: pizza rolls!!!
[what's something you wish you could understand better?]: myself, my mother
[Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]: hmm.. yes but i shouldnt say who.
[What's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow?]: Be a better mother to my daughter and have more fun. whats the point of life if you have no fun? |
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| 10:27pm 29/12/2002 |
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mood: creepy music: pink floyd- bike
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Boy has it been a long time since i wrote anything. I dont even know what to write. Sometimes i wonder if theres even a point to write anything but anyways... I went to a party lastnight out in Newport News. I was nervous at first because i only knew 3 or 4 people there but everyone was super nice. It was fun hanging out with a diffrent crowd for once. Its always fun to meet new people.
Im getting kind of stressed out about not being able to get a job. What is wrong with me? I really want to work at The Cavalier Hotel. It looks so spooky and they say its haunted. Im not sure if they would hire me or not though. Its very high class. I like to think of myself as a classy kind of gal but im sure they wont think i am. People tend to judge other people by their apperance, which really pisses me off. Oh well, im still going to give it a try. I really dont want to resort to working at Ricks cafe.
Im gonna try and go to bed at a decent time tonight. Its so hard for me to fall asleep sometimes because i have so many problems to think about. I put them off all day and then when i lay down i start thinking about them. I need to fix those problems real quick.
Well im off to dye my hair once again. So much fun! |
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| Things i remeber about the 80's |
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| 05:50pm 12/11/2002 |
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mood:  bored music: starsailor- poor misguided fool
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I was talking to a friend the other day about how we wished we were kids again. Then i started thinking how very greatful I am for being able to grow up in the 80's. Im bored so i thought i would make a list of the things I loved about that time period.
1. eating Mr. T cereal while watching saturday morning cartoons.
2. Waking up every morning and excercising to mousercise on disney.
3. thinking that atari was the coolest thing out
4. saying the word "not" after every sentence
5. wearing two diffrent color converse
6. adidas becoming cool because of run dmc
7. having a crush on david bowie and michael jackson
8. toys such as: transformers, popples, he-man and she-ra, slap bracelets, garbage pail kids cards, smurfs, nintendo, strawberry shortcake, ect.
9. movies such as: breakfast club, goonies, valley girl, pump up the volume, pretty in pink, ect.
10. tv shows such as: mr. wizard, mr. belvidere, punky brewster, you cant do that on television, reading rainbow, 3-2-1- contact, after school specials, todays special, ect.
11. the music just rocked. If i were to name the bands i would be here all day.
yea basically the 80's rocked, if anyone disagrees with me you suck. thats all i have to say. |
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| I have the greatest friends ever! |
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| 09:00pm 10/11/2002 |
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mood:  refreshed music: racebannon- fox boggie
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for my birthday (which is november 15th) my friends are taking me to see melt banana in DC. I am beyond excited. I am so excited i could pee myself. its so nice to have great friends that are willing to take me 4 hours away to see a show. i love you guys! |
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| boys make the world go round |
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| 08:06pm 08/11/2002 |
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mood:  naughty
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I have one last fantasy I need to fulfill. It involves a monster mask and growling and a fake attack.
So anyway I was thinking if they are wearing a mask who cares who it is as long as they aren't fat right?
It could be anyone. It could be you.....
respond if your into it. |
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| happy birthday to jilly! |
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| 03:39pm 02/11/2002 |
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mood: chipper music: shaggy- mr. boombastic
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nick woke me up at 12 today and said i have jills present in the car and i was like what? then i figured it out, mike was here! for jill birthday mike flew up here from flordia and jill is super happy. i am so glad she is having a good birthday. mike is the greatest. im so glad she has such a great boyfriend. now she has to find me a great boyfriend or im gonna go nuts and hurt someone. haha so hurry up jilly |
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| halloween |
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| 09:23pm 01/11/2002 |
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we took the kids out trick or treating and it was freezing. it only lasted for about an hour then we went home. the boys were so funny though. brenden punched some teenage boy in the face and then kyle chased him down the street. it was so hillarious.
then after we put them to bed we went to dave and laines house for a halloween party. we got so drunk its not even funny. it was fun untill jill had to throw up. so i slept on the bathroom floor while she was hugging the toilet all night. i would wake up every once in awhile to rub her back and tell her it was ok. oh yea nick was in the bathroom with us. hes such a great guy. i got pictures of jill hugging the toilet so if anyone wants to see it, im me.
tonight were having jills birthday party. i said lastnight i was never gonna drink again but i probably will tonight. i dont know im still hurting from lastnight.
http://home.cfl.rr.com/snuff/huggin.jpg |
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